Rejection

So, you're a writer? Undoubtedly you've received a rejection letter. (unless you're some type of wonder-child) Maybe if your writing exhibits some hint of promise, you've been lucky enough to receive a personal rejection, and if you're real close, you might have even received some type of constructive criticism or a short note of advice. However, most rejections are the standard "form letter." Believe me, I've had my share. Before the end of 2012, I received my 145th rejection letter, 99th on this particular project.

I've studied how to write a query, with its various required parts. Less than a page including genre, word count, hook, pitch, and author bio. It takes some work to put one together. But no, this is not about the parts of a query. This is about the parts to a form rejection letter.

Part 1- "Thanks for offering us your project." This is the part where they subliminally tell you how great "they" are and how smart you were to try and get them to represent you. It's the "We know we are soooo great" part of the rejection.

Part 2- Right after letting you know how wonderful they are, comes the "No thanks. You Stink." Some subtle, others not so much. They say things like;
"I cannot take on projects unless I feel strongly about them. I'm sorry to say that it didn't happen with this one."
"I am afraid I must pass."
And the most common. "It's not quite the right fit for our Agency."

Part 3- "This is subjective. Now, please go bother someone else with your dreams of becoming published." Typically, they say, "This, of course, is just my opinion and others may feel differently." Duh! Thanks a lot.

Part 4- The final part is usually the, "Good luck when you find someone else to bother." There are variations on this too. There's " We wish you every success." or "I hope you find a great agent who will represent you with the enthusiasm that you deserve." If wishing me good luck actually gave me any luck, I'd be published a dozen times by now.

Finally. If you have received any of these common form rejections, take some solace in the fact that the dear agent at least had the courtesy to copy and paste. One recent rejection I received consisted of a mere three words. "Not for me." Wow! That took some thought. I should feel lucky they took three seconds to trash my hopes and dreams.

Have you ever received a form rejection? Did it contain all four parts? Did it contain anything unusual? Anything funny? Let me know. I'd love to hear from you.

Jim

Happy People, Happy Village

Happy People, Happy Village
James M M Baldwin

Blue covers the heavens like an upside-down sea
Wooly clouds gather like guests at a tea

A white sun coaxes the dull to a colorful array
Stubborn buds burst into a fragrant display

Emerald waves roll toward distant green meadows
Swaying arms sway from a row of old willows

Oaks and maples line a creek, sparkling like glass
A bushy tailed squirrel forages for seeds in the grass

Birds sing a merry song, filling the trees
Butterflies float on a gentle fragrant breeze

A bunny chews in a field of bristly pink thistle
A dragonfly darts like a heat guided missile

Giggling young girls jump rope, skip, and sing
Dressed in sundresses of green, white, and pink

Bare-chested boys play ball as they stroll
Shouting for joy as they tumble and roll

An unsteady woman walks a large hairy beast
It pulls her along, she holds tight to its leash

Young lovers exchange a passionate embrace
Overeager to complete the love that they chase

A child stops playing… she points at the skies
A comet strikes Earth… and everyone dies

Hawk or Squirrel, Hunter or Hunted

This morning I noticed a squirrel standing tall in the middle of my yard. A few seconds later, a Red Tail Hawk swooped in and tried to catch it. The squirrel leapt into the air and avoided certain death. The Hawk landed a few feet away. After several more attacks, and a gymnastic-like presentation of leaps and flips by the bushy-tailed rodent, he escaped into a nearby crabapple tree. The Hawk flew up, landed in the tree, and bobbed its head about looking for the its breakfast. The squirrel escaped by jumping branches through several neighboring trees, leaving the hawk spinning its head in bewilderment and hunger. The hawk eventually flew off and landed on some nearby wires to scan for its next target.

At first I associated with the squirrel; dodging the attacks of life's obstacles. I smiled when the furry little fellow escaped to safety. But as I watched, I realized I was more like the bird on the wire, searching for success and often coming up empty. If he gives up, he'll go hungry. Would God let the Red Tail starve? With no choice but to keep scanning, he'll continue searching for the opportunity to succeed.

What about you? Are you more like the squirrel or the hawk.

Jim

Writer's Rut

From the title, you might presume this post is about the drudgery of writing. Like wagon wheels caught in a rut, trudging on in one direction without hope of rest, moving toward an uncertain destination. No, this post is about something different. This rut is more like the male buffalo during mating season. Late last year, I had so many story ideas kindling (no pun intended) on the fires of my mind, that I could not finish any one of them. They were like the two buffalo, butting heads, fighting for the chance to be the alpha male. That's how these stories were; locking horns, trying to take precedence over the other for control of my mind. The fighting continued until several stories sat at varying stages of completion, and none finding their end. I finally made the decision to put all of those new stories aside, and concentrate on editing, promoting, and publishing stories that had already achieved the top dog status of completion. All of those other stories are still in there, somewhere, jockeying for position among the racing electrical impulses of my brain. They will come out eventually. But for now, I'm still editing a novel for submission. So, if I'm writing, and you happen by, and you hear a dull thud echo from within the deep recesses of my gray matter, don't be alarmed. It's just the buffalo in rut.

Jim

The Gilded Conference

I recently attended the Friday night readings on the opening day of the Spring Nebraska Writers Guild Conference. Here is my synopsis of the evenings proceedings.






The Gilded Conference
James M M Baldwin

A man spoke of aliens, He went on a bit long
His plan well thought out, But something went wrong

Sally took us back, The old west it was sure
To gun fights and saddles, And reckless murder

Jack's song, His explanation too much
Yes it was humorous, And well worth the punch

A Bipolar memoir, Some technical stuff
Not much about treatment, More feelings and such

Lisa's gripping screenplay, Left my stomach in knots
The emotion ran high, Should be awarded for all that its got

Escape Velocity, Flash fiction from Mac
Jimmy can do it, To Saturn and back

Connie's quirky novel, Dee a short story, Mary's tale of school snakes
Janet's Lockets and Lanterns raised up the stakes

Then Dana, Poor Dana, Sleeping toddler she wrote
Not a dry eye in house, And lumps in our throats

Marilyn recited a poem, Of Sixties and Sex
Ignoring advice from her mother, A rating need added the letter of X

Mary Jo entertained, With wielding of wit
No punches were pulled, Good bad and ugly was surely a hit

Lynn set out to conquer a quest, Connie, the morn after, destroyed a whole town
Ronda's dark tale left mysterious clues, Sabrina got hers in before things wound down

And finally yes finally, Lisa read without doubt
Of spelling a bee, The letter p not left out

To all involved, Deserved Congratulations
Opening night a success, Applause and ovations

Chasing Reflections

This morning I watched a Scarlet Tanager attacking its own reflection in the widow of a shiny red truck. Its bright red body caught my eye as it sat on the outside mirror. Maybe the little bird thought the truck was a giant rival. After repeated attacks, the red bird flew off and sat on a fence chirping its anger like a hoarse robin. I had to look up what kind of bird it was on whatbird.com. I had never seen one before. I also had never seen a bird challenging its mirror image.

It made me think about my own reflection? What do I see when I look in the mirror. Do I see who I really am. Some days I see someone unattractive and other times I see someone I'd like to be. Sometimes I like to pretend that my reflection lives in another dimension and when I walk away, he'll go off and live his own life. Although my reflection changes only slightly from day to day, perception can play a major part in how I see myself. So rather than be like the Scarlet Tanager, I'm not going to attack my reflection but realize that who I am comes from within.

How do you feel about your reflection?
How does your reflection treat you?

Jim

Form Rejection

I wrote my first query letter in 2004. On January 27th of this year, I received my 127th rejection on numerous different projects. Not going into the emotions involved in receiving a rejection letter, have you received a one? Not only that, but have you ever received this exact same rejection?

"Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I'm afraid this project isn't right for me, but I wish you the best of luck in your search for representation."

Of all the letters I've received, nearly a hundred of them are almost identical to this one. Obviously it's a typical form letter, but what a cop out. I research agents to find out which ones represent my genre. There seems to be a lot of agents casting a wide net, making it easy to fall prey to the dreaded form.

I've read some agent blogs about advice they gave to a writer via their query. How the obstinate writer refused to take their advice and never found representation, or how they took the advice and easily found representation and publication, or how they resisted the advice for years until eventually relenting and finding acceptance. Really? Does this actually happen? Apparently not to me. I would even appreciate a "you stink, get out of the business" letter. Better than a form. I'd love to hear from anyone that has ever received advice from an agent or editor based on a query letter.

Jim

World's Most Expensive Book

Not having any success trying to sell my books at .99 cents per copy, the following headline caught my attention. "Worlds Most Expensive Book Goes Up for Sale" That peaked my interest. Could it be an original handwritten copy an unpublished William Shakespeare play. Maybe it would be the earliest known written version of Homer's Odyssey. I clicked the link. The new headline read. "Birds of North America will be Auctioned for Between 7 to 10 Million Dollar." Surprise. IT WAS A PICTURE BOOK! I should have known. Don't get me wrong, I understand why this rare, multi-volume 3 1/2' tall hand colored version of every species of bird known in North America in 1800 is so valuable, but come on. This is more art than it is book. I wonder what the most expensive book of WORDS ONLY might be. I doubt it will ever be an electronic copy of my ebook story "Black Wolf." (available at Smashwords.com for only .99 cents.)

Jim

Moving On Up

After nearly 120 rejection, each of which carried its own degree of dejection, I've decided to try something else. Rather than thinking that my stories and novels are just not any good, I've decided that my writing is not the type of formulaic writing that wins contests and gains the attention of literary agents. With that said, I still believe I have something to offer the reader. Therefore, I've decided to enroll with Smashwords.com and begin offering my short stories while I continue to refine my novels. So, if you have an interest in speculative fiction, stop over and browse my author page at Smashwords.com And if you have an extra dollar laying around, try one of my stories on for size. As of today, I only have one story up but will be adding more in the near future.

Jim

Wild Wednesday Leads to Thoughtless Thursday

Great story flowing onto the paper Wednesday night, so much so, that I stayed up past my usual 12:30 AM self-imposed curfew. The story intrigued me. I couldn’t stop right in the heart of the action. Finally, after two in the morning, the Mountain Dew wore off and I came to a stopping place that would be easy to pick up the next night. The next day went swimmingly until late in the afternoon when having only four hours sleep hit me. I made it through until last night when I sat and stared at the computer screen. I knew what I wanted to say but it just didn’t make it to the keyboard. A vacant spot the size of a tennis ball occupied my skull. Something was missing. I slept my usual six hours last night, so maybe tonight will be better.

Agent Query Rejection

Other than the typical "We wish you the best of luck in finding a home for your work elsewhere,' here is a list of the Top 5 most creative rejections to my query letters.

#5. We urge you to submit your work to other agencies
#4. We hope you will soon find an agent with whom you can establish a productive relationship
#3.Our team appreciated the chance to hear about your project, however...
#2. Thanks so much, this looks very interesting, but...

And, the number 1, most creative rejection...
Thanks so much for thinking of us, but the story line is too close to something we are already considering. (Really? Are you kidding me?)

Have you received any out of the ordinary or particularly creative rejection letters? Let me know about it.