POLITIC

POLITIC

POLITIC

Caution

Ev’rything you’re about to read

contained herein, is haiku

(almost)

Conversation in Haiku

Not true haiku

Not true to Japanese roots

Allen Ginsberg asserted

Haiku did not fit

(the) English language

Ginsberg proposed the Seventeen syllable American Sentence

POLITIC

Campaign in American Sentence

POLITICK

Politician

Campaign in American Sentence

Fit for the twitter-verse

Politician

Don’t keep up with the Joneses.

Drag them down to your level

it’s cheaper.

Politicians and diapers

need changed often

for the same reason

Elusive mythical creature

(the) honest politician

POLITICK

Action Seeming sensible

Judicious

Under the circumstances

Prejudice in favor of a

particular political cause

Relating to or

Acting according to,

Int’rest of status

Organizational power

rather than matters of principle

This part is for listeners with rules

mandatory rhyme part

Sort of

Politicism

journalism, activism, anarchism, narcissism, 

chauvinism, criticism, cynicism, egotism, 

feminism, humanism, fed’ralism, conservatism,

lib’ralism, leftism, socialism, fascism, 

communism, Leninism, Marxism, Stalinism,

optimism, opportunism, symbolism, materialism,

patriotism, hooliganism,  extremism, racism,

radicalism, obstructionism,  unilateralism,

authoritarianism, totalitarianism,

antidisestablishmentarianism

Thus ends the optional mandatory rhyme portion of the poem

MODERATOR

In this debate

we’ve decided whether or not to have a handshake

To have a bell or a buzzer

The audience should remain silent

Unless something extra-ordinary happens,

then, you’ll be scolded

With seeming narrow path to the Whitehouse

(and)only one adult on stage

He can’t be president

He had something on his lip when he spoke

She can’t be president

A giant fly landed on her shirt

while she spoke

Not a soul knows what she said

Ev’ryone was mesmeriz’d by the fly

TRUMP

This guy,

he’s a choke artist

This guy,

he’s a liar

Lies all the time

This guy

This guy here

He repeats himself

I don’t repeat myself

TRUMP

I saw him repeat himself

five times last week

I don’t repeat myself

TRUMP

He repeated himself three times

five seconds ago

I don’t repeat myself

TRUMP

Plus

He’s a liar

He’s the biggest liar since

the Mexican American war

He’s a liar

He’s too Canadian

He’s too low energy

He’s controll’d by lobbyists and donors

You know bing bing bong

you know

He’s a lightweight

He’s a nasty guy

He’s the single biggest liar

BERNIE S

Democratic Socialism

Gonna be HUGE

Free College for all

We can save capitalism

from itself

It’ll be huge

JOHNSON

Aleppo?

What is Aleppo?

KRUZ

I’ll enact Solutions

not create slogans

The nuclear triad is not a rock band

from the 1980’s

  

HILLARY

Half of your voters are from

a Basket of deplorables

racist, sexist, homophobic,

xenophobic, Islamaphobic

You name it

CARSON

Counting on the uniformed

making use of useful idiots

MODERATOR

You call’d women you don’t like

fat pigs, dogs, slobs,

disgusting animals

TRUMP

Locker room talk

our biggest problem is political correctness

HILLARY

Trumped up, trickle down.

My father was a drap’ry maker.

My husband did a pretty good job.

TRUMP

NAFTA is the single worst

trade deal ever signed

in hist’ry

Anywhere.

HILLARY

That is just not correct.

I was against it once.

But now I’m for it

TRUMP

You called it the gold standard.

Called it the gold standard.

You have no plan

HILLARY

You can pick up my book

at the groc’ry store or airport.

You make all these claims.

TRUMP

Facts.

HILLARY

I know you live in your own little reality.

Look at my website.

TRUMP

Look at my website.

HILLARY

I have a feeling

that by the end of the evening,

I’m going to be blamed for everything

that’s ever happened.

TRUMP

Why not?

Typical politician,

all talk, no action.

sounds good, doesn’t work,

never gunna happen.

HILLARY

It’s My granddaughter’s birthday

for her the wealthy must pay their fair share

TRUMP

Release your emails

I made a mistake

using a private e-mail server.

TRUMP

It’s not a mistake

when it’s done purposefully.

Release the emails

BERNIE S

The American people

are sick and tired

of hearing about your emails

HILLARY

Release your tax return

Maybe he’s not as rich as he says he is.

Maybe he’s not as charitable

as he claims to be.

Maybe he doesn’t

want you to know he’s paid nothing.

TRUMP

That makes me smart.

HILLARY

That’s zero for troops,

Zero for schools,

zero for health,

zero for vets.

Something terrible he’s trying to hide.

Can only guess what it is.

TRUMP

My father gave me a small loan

Turned it into billions and billions.

HILLARY

I’ve met a lot of people

stif’d by you, your comp’ny.

Drap(e)ry hangers

TRUMP

That’s call’d business by the way,

I take advantage of the laws.

Don’t like it? Change the law.

you’ve been doing this for 30 years.

Why haven’t you fixed it?

HILLARY

Our biggest enemies are not the NRA,

not the health insurance companies,

Not the drug companies,

not the Iranians,

It’s the republicans

Syria is a quagmire in a quagmire

Chaos in the middleeast

Russia

TRUMP

China

JOHNSON

Aleppo?

TRUMP

Benghazi

  

HILLARY

You encouraged Russia

to engage in cyber attacks

TRUMP

You don’t know it’s Russia.

You keep saying

Russia Russia Russia,

maybe it was.

It could Russia.

It could also be China.

It could have been anyone.

It could have also been someone

sitting on their bed

 that weighs 400 pounds.

HILLARY

You’re Putin’s puppet

TRUMP

No, you’re the puppet,

You’re the puppet.

It all sounds good.

HILLARY

Fracking is a crisis of historical consequence

Suicide course

TRUMP

Wrong. It’s all words

Our leaders are stupid

polititions are stupid

HILLARY

Im just gunna let you talk.

I’m just gunna scratch my nose

blink my eyes,

Occasional incredulous smile

Economic dislocation

TRUMP

It’s china, and mexico.

Jobs, jobs, jobs.

Reduce taxes.

Jobs, jobs, jobs.

HILLARY

It’s easy to diagnose the problem,

harder to do something about it

TRUMP

China built a wall

3000 years ago.

Nobody gets through that.

JOHNSON

Aleppo?

TRUMP

Nobody likes you

HILLARY

I’m committed to raising taxes on the rich.

My contributions will go up.

His contributions will go up.

As long as he can’t figure out how to get out of it.

TRUMP

Such a nasty woman

Such a nasty woman

With pneumonia

HILLARY

Purveyor of hate

Close the gun show loophole

End straw man purchases

TRUMP

That’s all very nice

But it’s wrong

 I’ll Jumpstart Manufacturing

HILLARY

Are you sure?

That doesn’t sound right.

Punish the gay marriage decenters

TRUMP

I don’t think you heard me right

You’re having a hard time tonight

Aren’t you?

HILLARY

I’m not going to contradict myself

A third grader understands

TRUMP

There’s no statute of

limitations on lies

Tell the truth

It’s easy

HILLARY

I’ll work for

Jobs and education

not jails and incarceration

TRUMP

You didn’t answer the question

Are you or are you not

For or against

HILLARY

He said about what I said,

After what I said about what he said

TRUMP

You have a tenuous relationship

with the truth

You always have

HILLARY

That’s a completely ridiculous answer

You’re just blowing hot hair

TRUMP

Undergird the insinuation

Terrorism counterterrorism

HILLARY

ev’ry time you say another crazy thing

Raise the minimum wage.

JOHNSON

Aleppo?

TRUMP

I fought the entire Washington establishment and won

I’m still here

HILLARY

Today

Fathers will say to their daughters

you too can be president

TRUMP

We must bind the wounds of division

Come together as united people

Carson

As one nation, under God

Pick up the baton of freedom and run

HILLARY

We stand together

Work together

With respect for our diff’rences

Strength in our convictions

Love for this nation

our best days are ahead

Star and stripes will wave high

God bless the United States of America

Jim