Monday, January 9, 2017

POLITIC

POLITIC

POLITIC

Caution
Ev’rything you’re about to read
contained herein, is haiku

(almost)

Conversation in Haiku
Not true haiku
Not true to Japanese roots

Allen Ginsberg asserted
Haiku did not fit
(the) English language

Ginsberg proposed the Seventeen syllable American Sentence

POLITIC
Campaign in American Sentence
POLITICK
Politician

Campaign in American Sentence
Fit for the twitter-verse
Politician

Don’t keep up with the Joneses.
Drag them down to your level
it’s cheaper.

Politicians and diapers
need changed often
for the same reason

Elusive mythical creature
(the) honest politician

POLITICK

Action Seeming sensible
Judicious
Under the circumstances

Prejudice in favor of a
particular political cause

Relating to or
Acting according to,
Int’rest of status

Organizational power
rather than matters of principle

This part is for listeners with rules
mandatory rhyme part
Sort of

Politicism
journalism, activism, anarchism, narcissism, 
chauvinism, criticism, cynicism, egotism, 
feminism, humanism, fed’ralism, conservatism,
lib’ralism, leftism, socialism, fascism, 
communismLeninism, Marxism, Stalinism,
optimism, opportunism, symbolism, materialism,
patriotism, hooliganism,  extremism, racism,
radicalism, obstructionism,  unilateralism,
authoritarianism, totalitarianism,
antidisestablishmentarianism

Thus ends the optional mandatory rhyme portion of the poem

MODERATOR
In this debate
we’ve decided whether or not to have a handshake

To have a bell or a buzzer
The audience should remain silent

Unless something extra-ordinary happens,
then, you’ll be scolded

With seeming narrow path to the Whitehouse
(and)only one adult on stage

He can’t be president
He had something on his lip when he spoke

She can’t be president
A giant fly landed on her shirt
while she spoke

Not a soul knows what she said
Ev’ryone was mesmeriz’d by the fly

TRUMP
This guy,
he’s a choke artist
This guy,
he’s a liar
Lies all the time

This guy
This guy here
He repeats himself

I don’t repeat myself

TRUMP
I saw him repeat himself
five times last week

I don’t repeat myself

TRUMP
He repeated himself three times
five seconds ago

I don’t repeat myself

TRUMP
Plus
He’s a liar
He’s the biggest liar since
the Mexican American war
He’s a liar
He’s too Canadian
He’s too low energy
He’s controll’d by lobbyists and donors
You know bing bing bong
you know

He’s a lightweight
He’s a nasty guy
He’s the single biggest liar

BERNIE S
Democratic Socialism
Gonna be HUGE
Free College for all

We can save capitalism
from itself
It’ll be huge

JOHNSON
Aleppo?
What is Aleppo?

KRUZ
I’ll enact Solutions
not create slogans

The nuclear triad is not a rock band
from the 1980’s
  
HILLARY
Half of your voters are from
a Basket of deplorables

racist, sexist, homophobic,
xenophobic, Islamaphobic

You name it

CARSON
Counting on the uniformed
making use of useful idiots

MODERATOR
You call’d women you don’t like
fat pigs, dogs, slobs,
disgusting animals

TRUMP
Locker room talk
our biggest problem is political correctness

HILLARY
Trumped up, trickle down.
My father was a drap’ry maker.
My husband did a pretty good job.

TRUMP
NAFTA is the single worst
trade deal ever signed
in hist’ry
Anywhere.

HILLARY
That is just not correct.
I was against it once.
But now I’m for it

TRUMP
You called it the gold standard.
Called it the gold standard.
You have no plan

HILLARY
You can pick up my book
at the groc’ry store or airport.
You make all these claims.

TRUMP
Facts.

HILLARY
I know you live in your own little reality.
Look at my website.

TRUMP
Look at my website.

HILLARY
I have a feeling
that by the end of the evening,

I’m going to be blamed for everything
that’s ever happened.

TRUMP
Why not?
Typical politician,
all talk, no action.
sounds good, doesn’t work,
never gunna happen.

HILLARY
It’s My granddaughter’s birthday
for her the wealthy must pay their fair share

TRUMP
Release your emails

I made a mistake
using a private e-mail server.

TRUMP
It’s not a mistake
when it’s done purposefully.
Release the emails

BERNIE S
The American people
are sick and tired
of hearing about your emails

HILLARY
Release your tax return
Maybe he’s not as rich as he says he is.

Maybe he’s not as charitable
as he claims to be.

Maybe he doesn’t
want you to know he’s paid nothing.

TRUMP
That makes me smart.

HILLARY
That’s zero for troops,
Zero for schools,
zero for health,
zero for vets.

Something terrible he’s trying to hide.
Can only guess what it is.

TRUMP
My father gave me a small loan
Turned it into billions and billions.

HILLARY
I’ve met a lot of people
stif’d by you, your comp’ny.
Drap(e)ry hangers

TRUMP
That’s call’d business by the way,
I take advantage of the laws.

Don’t like it? Change the law.
you’ve been doing this for 30 years.
Why haven’t you fixed it?

HILLARY
Our biggest enemies are not the NRA,
not the health insurance companies,
Not the drug companies,
not the Iranians,
It’s the republicans

Syria is a quagmire in a quagmire
Chaos in the middleeast
Russia

TRUMP
China

JOHNSON
Aleppo?

TRUMP
Benghazi
  
HILLARY
You encouraged Russia
to engage in cyber attacks

TRUMP
You don’t know it’s Russia.
You keep saying
Russia Russia Russia,

maybe it was.
It could Russia.
It could also be China.

It could have been anyone.
It could have also been someone
sitting on their bed
 that weighs 400 pounds.

HILLARY
You’re Putin’s puppet

TRUMP
No, you’re the puppet,
You’re the puppet.
It all sounds good.

HILLARY
Fracking is a crisis of historical consequence
Suicide course

TRUMP
Wrong. It’s all words
Our leaders are stupid
polititions are stupid

HILLARY
Im just gunna let you talk.
I’m just gunna scratch my nose
blink my eyes,

Occasional incredulous smile
Economic dislocation

TRUMP
It’s china, and mexico.
Jobs, jobs, jobs.
Reduce taxes.
Jobs, jobs, jobs.

HILLARY
It’s easy to diagnose the problem,
harder to do something about it

TRUMP
China built a wall
3000 years ago.
Nobody gets through that.

JOHNSON
Aleppo?

TRUMP
Nobody likes you

HILLARY
I’m committed to raising taxes on the rich.

My contributions will go up.
His contributions will go up.

As long as he can’t figure out how to get out of it.

TRUMP
Such a nasty woman
Such a nasty woman
With pneumonia

HILLARY
Purveyor of hate
Close the gun show loophole
End straw man purchases

TRUMP
That’s all very nice
But it’s wrong
 I’ll Jumpstart Manufacturing

HILLARY
Are you sure?
That doesn’t sound right.
Punish the gay marriage decenters

TRUMP
I don’t think you heard me right
You’re having a hard time tonight
Aren’t you?

HILLARY
I’m not going to contradict myself
A third grader understands

TRUMP
There’s no statute of
limitations on lies
Tell the truth
It’s easy

HILLARY
I’ll work for
Jobs and education
not jails and incarceration

TRUMP
You didn’t answer the question
Are you or are you not
For or against

HILLARY
He said about what I said,
After what I said about what he said

TRUMP
You have a tenuous relationship
with the truth
You always have

HILLARY
That’s a completely ridiculous answer
You’re just blowing hot hair

TRUMP
Undergird the insinuation
Terrorism counterterrorism

HILLARY
ev’ry time you say another crazy thing
Raise the minimum wage.

JOHNSON
Aleppo?

TRUMP
I fought the entire Washington establishment and won
I’m still here

HILLARY
Today
Fathers will say to their daughters
you too can be president

TRUMP
We must bind the wounds of division
Come together as united people

Carson
As one nation, under God
Pick up the baton of freedom and run

HILLARY
We stand together
Work together
With respect for our diff’rences

Strength in our convictions
Love for this nation
our best days are ahead

Star and stripes will wave high
God bless the United States of America
Jim

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